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Parenting: How Strict Is TOO Strict?

Teens Today

Teen anxiety rate has increased 76% since 2009 || The suicide rate in teens has risen 60% since 2007 || 57% of young adult males now have a substance dependency - C.D.C

Parenting has been and will always be a challenging task.

However, today's parenting climate brings some modern challenges that involve providing children extra guidance, support, and boundaries.

Through Life Coaching Teens + Youth from all kinds of backgrounds, we have learned just how important it is to master these modern challenges for the Youth to avoid major setbacks and achieve their personal success and well being.

One of the key challenges of parenting is determining the appropriate level of strictness or discipline necessary for a child's growth and development.

While parents want to ensure their children's safety and success, it is possible to be too strict and inadvertently harm a child's emotional, social, and intellectual development.

The appropriate level of strictness in parenting can vary depending on the child's age, temperament, and needs.

However, there are certain signs that parents can look out for to determine if they are being too strict.

Here are the signs:



Firstly, if the child is consistently fearful of their parent or hesitant to express their feelings, it may indicate that the parent is being too strict.

  • Strict parenting can often lead to children feeling anxious, insecure, and even depressed. When children are afraid of their parents, they may not feel safe seeking their support or sharing their emotions with them.

  • This can lead to children feeling isolated and disconnected from their parents, which can harm their emotional development.

Secondly, if the child is constantly being punished for minor infractions, it may be a sign that the parent is being too strict.

  • While discipline is necessary, it should not be disproportionate to the offense.

  • Over-punishing can create resentment and rebellion in children, which can undermine the parents' authority in the long run.

Thirdly, if the child is not allowed to make mistakes or take risks, it may indicate that the parent is being too strict.

  • Children need to explore and experiment to learn and grow, and overly strict parents can stifle this process.

  • When children are not allowed to make mistakes or take risks, they may become fearful of failure and be less likely to try new things or take on challenges in the future.


In addition to these signs, there are several other reasons why being too strict can harm a child's development. Here are some of them:

1. Lack of Autonomy:

When parents are too strict, they can rob their children of the opportunity to develop autonomy and independence.

Children need to learn how to make decisions and solve problems on their own, and overly strict parents can inhibit this development.

2. Inability to Cope with Failure:

Failure is an inevitable part of life, and children need to learn how to cope with it.

Overly strict parents can create an environment where failure is not an option, which can make children ill-equipped to deal with it when it does happen.

3. Reduced Creativity:

Creativity is an essential aspect of a child's development.

However, overly strict parents can discourage creativity by limiting their children's opportunities for free play and exploration.

4. Lack of Emotional Expression:

When children are afraid of their parents, they may not feel safe expressing their emotions.

This can lead to emotional repression, which can harm a child's emotional development.

5. Relationship Strain:

Overly strict parents can create strained relationships with their children, which can persist into adulthood.

This can affect the child's ability to form healthy relationships with others and can lead to a sense of alienation.

6. Mental Health Issues:

Overly strict parenting has been linked to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression in children.


Given these potential harms, it is clear that being too strict in parenting can have significant negative consequences.

However, it is also important to note that too little discipline can also harm a child's development.

Children need structure and boundaries to feel safe and secure, and parents who fail to provide this may be doing their children a disservice.

One of the most common negative qualities we see the parents of our clients doing is not following through.

There is this belief that the parent is strict, yet they do not follow through with the boundaries and disciplinary actions they have set. Leaving the child with ball in their court.

Just like in "The Boy Who Cried Wolf," - why would a child listen to the Mom who yelled, "wash the dishes or else..."

So, how can parents strike the right balance between being too strict and too lenient?

One way to do this is to adopt an authoritative parenting style.

Authoritative parents set clear expectations and boundaries for their children but are also warm, supportive, and responsive to their children's safety.

Parenting STYLES

Parenting Styles

In understanding how strict is too strict, it is important to understand the different parenting styles. The four primary parenting styles are authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved.

Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parenting is characterized by strict rules, little to no negotiation or discussion, and a focus on obedience. Parents who use this style of parenting often enforce strict discipline with harsh punishments for disobedience. They may use physical punishment, such as spanking or hitting, to maintain control.

The effects of authoritarian parenting can be both positive and negative. Children raised in an authoritarian household may be more obedient, respectful, and have high self-discipline. However, they may also suffer from low self-esteem, anxiety, and a lack of decision-making skills. This style of parenting can also create a power struggle between the parent and child, leading to a lack of trust and a damaged relationship.

Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parenting is characterized by setting clear rules and boundaries while encouraging discussion and negotiation. Parents who use this style of parenting are supportive and nurturing while still maintaining discipline. They allow children to make decisions within the set boundaries and guide them through the decision-making process.

The effects of authoritative parenting are generally positive. Children raised in an authoritative household tend to have high self-esteem, better social skills, and are more successful academically. They also have a stronger sense of independence and decision-making skills, and a better relationship with their parents.

Permissive Parenting

Permissive parenting is characterized by a lack of rules and discipline. Parents who use this style of parenting often take on a friend-like role rather than a parental one. They may allow their children to make their own decisions without setting any clear boundaries or consequences.

The effects of permissive parenting are generally negative. Children raised in a permissive household may have low self-discipline, low academic achievement, and poor social skills. They may also struggle with authority figures and have difficulty with decision-making skills.

Uninvolved Parenting

Uninvolved parenting is characterized by a lack of emotional and physical involvement in a child's life. Parents who use this style of parenting may be absent or neglectful, providing little to no guidance or support.

The effects of uninvolved parenting are almost always negative. Children raised in an uninvolved household may have low self-esteem, a lack of emotional and social skills, and academic struggles. They may also be at risk for engaging in risky behaviors and developing mental health issues.


Parenting is challenging, and the youth today is not the same as it was even ten years ago.

Whether you realize it or not, you and your children are facing modern obstacles that no human being has ever faced before.

These obstacles can make life very difficult and often we need guidance and a method that works in getting your kids on a path towards success and wellbeing.

At Wide Awake Coaching, we specialize in life coaching teens and youth to help them find where they are, where we all would like them to be, and how to get there effectively.

We work delicately along side you as the parent to make sure the entire family is on the same page and reaching our collective goals.


Clarify and achieve personal and academic goals

Increase confidence and self purpose

Create life / relationship / business / education plans + next steps

Work to improve communication + social skills

Learn tools to reduce stress + anxiety

Achieve a school/life balance

Expand consciousness + connection + spirituality

Identify Roadblocks + build bridges to success

Start your new life or grow the one you’re in

Turn the page to the future you desire


One of the biggest differences in our Life Coaching method is that we combine both Life Coaching and Traditional Therapy.

Through years of researching, certification, and practicing the leading methods of therapy and coaching; we sought to combine the best of the best practices in an all encompassing experience that can be customized for you.


Typical Therapy

Typical Life Coaching

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Mindset Coaching




Music Therapy


Neuro Linguistic Programming


EFT Tapping



Breathwork Therapy


No Time Limit Sessions



​Online Masterclasses


Bio Identical Hormone Therapy



Infrared Sauna Therapy

Himalayan Salt Therapy


Play Therapy (out of the office - hiking, surfing, fishing, walking, kayaking, etc.)

​Modern Success Psychology Tools (Joyride Journal, Nightingale Notepad, guided meditations)


If you want to see how our innovative coaching can dramatically improve joy, confidence, and clarity in your Child's Life, simply apply here:


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